The beginning of Black Dog(bipolar disorder)

 

'First job after graduating from college + conflict with boss

 + family dispute + quarrel with boyfriend'

When all the stress that weighs on me comes,

Black Dog appeared.

Suddenly all my senses opened up as if written on a notepad, and my mind went blank.

'These people are each busy going somewhere, 

but where am I going now without a purpose?'

It was as if he was watching the sparkling city alone from the top of the mountain. 

I felt like I was alone in another world.

When the university was enjoying the festival, I went up to the highest hill in the university with three bottles of alcohol in a black plastic bag.

I don't know why.

It was just so pointless and sad.

The hill I staggered up while drinking was the same as I had felt before.

The night view of the glittering city was the opposite of myself, who looked shabby.

The hard times I endured while patting 'it's okay, it's okay' seemed to be purposeless support.

Everything fell apart in an instant.

After crying sadly, I broke the bottle and did self-injury on my wrist. 

I drank all the rest and lost consciousness.

Fortunately, my boyfriend called 911 and was able to go to the hospital emergency room, 

and the doctor saw my condition and called me 'depression'.

<Starting with this article, 

I plan to record all the days I had with bipolar disorder>

I want to show empathy to people with mental illness like me, and to help people who don't know about bipolar disorder understand and look at them with interest.

(I am not good at English, so there may be grammatical and incorrect errors. I hope you understand)