[bipolar disorder] The 3 sexual offenses I've suffered: First: 'rape'

 "Student, I'm sorry. Can you call out the lady who lives here?"

(15-year-old rape case that happened to me)

#. It was on my way home after school.

As usual, as he was walking down the alley, in front of the blue gate, a man was looking around him.

And soon our eyes met.

"Student, I'm sorry, but I've got a problem... Can you call the woman who lives in this house?"

Thinking about it now, I may have doubts at least once, but I thought it was nothing at the time.

'Did the couple fight...?'

After class, students were walking around.

As I approached the gate and was about to call the name of an unfamiliar  woman, I suddenly heard the door open and the man pushed me inside.

I was sucked into the house in an instant.

#. The house I entered was in ruins. There was no wife the old man was talking about.

Before I could come to my senses, I felt something cold on my side.

It was a knife.

'If you don't do what I tell you, I'll stab you with a knife'

As the sound of trembling flesh passed through my ears, all my thoughts stopped and I focused on the sensations in my side. It was hard to believe that I was in a life-and-death situation with the only wall beside me in between.

"Take it off"

I pretended to take my skirt down, but I didn't want to die like this. I said I wanted to go to the bathroom to find a way out of the man, but to no avail.

I just checked the blade in front of me one more time.

#. A human figure like a livestock struggling for sexuality in a ruined house.

Although it was disgusting, I was miserable for having to endure the situation.

I can't forget what he said to me before he turned around.

'Your mom and dad also did this to give birth to you.'

Wiping the blood from the floor, I cried loudly.

What the hell did I do to defile my body to live? Why did I have to be chosen?

It felt like my heart would explode. Tears flowed like crazy.

My mother, surprised to see me returning home crying, asked what was going on.

"Dirty bastard! That bastard needs to have his penis cut off! XX XXX"

When I arrived at the hospital with my cursing mother, I was half insane.

As soon as I entered the examination room, my whole body stiffened. The gynecologist was a man.

I had to spread my legs in front of a man once more.

My body trembled spontaneously at the endless humiliation.

The police were reported, but the perpetrator was never caught.

I confessed my pain to a friend I thought was a best friend, but soon rumors spread and I was bullied throughout my sophomore year in middle school.

Every day I walked, staring at the ground. I didn't want to look up at the sky.

Everything was resentful, and I was still alone on that remote island.